oh yes i been reading thru lizziez n chars blog. i realized they probably impacted my life more than i have theirs. they have tot me many things.. reminded me of how i was.. the youthful innocence. yet i never seem to find enuff time for them. perhaps DG-ship is the wrong ministry. all the tok bout being gifted in God.. sometimes i *really* wunder wot gifts i have..
- posted by espieee36 @ Saturday, August 16, 2003

 
first week of skool juz flew by.. and yes im still sick. went to the dentist todae to find out why my gums were hurting so much, and after x ray and all, the dentist juz sent me home with antibiotics and told me to rest. sigh was nice that liyi showed concern about my pathetic state

for the first time last nite at scrabble meeting, i had e same *scared* feeling i had one yr ago when i was depressed. once again, i felt alone, i felt like a freshie. and i THANK GOD for usp. if not i will probably float around without frenz in arts. thanx for usp and old connections, i haf rena and simone for econometrics, ben and simone for micro, elvin for sociology, and lotsa frenz for both decision making and evolution. so i am realli glad for familiar faces. i am so afraid to slip back to depression. im scared to be sad.. sad to be so sucked into a sad vacuum of tears and void again.. pls.. keep me away from there..

exchange is realli exciting me. went to collect sep package and got sheela's no (thanx a lot hy!! yu have been realli helpful tho i noe yu r bz too :) and so we discussed about our accomodation in usp etc. suddenly i cud be leading hostel life. be leading the life i heard about from benlee in sec 1/2, others in subsequent yrz.. the freedom. yet im scared... whu is going to look after me when im sick. wot if i miss homE? sigh altho its onli half a yr.. but yah.. ill miss home..

i cudnt sleep dis afternoon tho i was so tirEd.. did a lot of misc stuff.. like settling all the docs i need for 2nd round of application for exchange.. been sneezing non stop

and yeah me thinking of getting a palm to play scrabble, monopoly and warring states hahz
- posted by espieee36 @ Saturday, August 16, 2003

 
sigh itz the time of the yr to make choices again. wot cca to join.. wot things to do.. wot to involve myself in.

i feel kinda crippled that im going for SEP. its like i have to do limited activities cos i cant commit to the whole yr. so i think for this yr, my cca related stuff is onli going to be like..

1) rag and flag
2) probably wanted to join marketing cell as a normal member to help the next marketing head
3) IFG Scrabble
4) other recreational stuff like perhaps course in archery

meanwhile, i think i shud focus big time of my studies.. hmmz but im afraid i wun be happi taking a backseat.. ks mentality.. scared i am missing out on things..
- posted by espieee36 @ Friday, August 15, 2003

 
in office now.. and mum wants me to leave earli to have dinner with aunt muichoo and family cos it is aunt's birthday todae. sigh.. feeling sick. mebbe the ginseng is really very 're' cos i have a sore throat and ulcer now :(

more or less settled the ICAS working timetable.. juz need a few more people at most. got an email from lynn that dr. hu will be helping out. the world is realli small.. after john incident and dr. hu. betta not offend anyone cos yu never noe when yu might meet them and even need them in future..

evolution class was urm. well. intellectual. but its like, i think e teacher is super non religious and its quite sad that he is going to go to hell unless he acknowledges there is a God and stop being blasphemous.. feel quite sad. haiz but goot thing got many christians in the class so i dun feel so weird.. like janet, gracia, kim and anthony.. hmmz..

oh no i feel my body crumbling.. feel so sick..

im starting to think if i ever lose enuff weight and become more self confident, i will make a v good business woman. hahaz. cos rite, i realize i can be super rational and emotionless altho i am usualli so emotional. like so weird.. now i am so busy i dun realli *feel* anything. of cos, cept tired and stressed. but yu noe wot i mean..

meanwhile.. oh yah! this guy like dieded in engin. during a FACULTY club meeting in nus. got assailed!! like so dramatic!! sigh.. one moment we r here, next we might not.. we r so frail.. so helpless.. and why do we even think that we can survive without God?
- posted by espieee36 @ Wednesday, August 13, 2003

 
oh gosh i been working non stop since i stepped into office todae. on one hand, trying to finish scanning everything for prof kong asap, and on the other, trying to employ people to work for ICAS and planning their shifts *strEss* some more whole office ocmputer kena virus..

found out at obedience class last nite that fluff's test on her 10th week of class is actually quite a strict one.. eeks, which means this 3 weeks must train her intensively so she will be more attentive. then realized that thie fat china guy trains his dog TWO HOURS a DAY!! like madness.. why does he have so much time..isnt that taking obedience too far? i tot as long as the dog responds to basic commands, will respond in times of danger can liaoz?

heng todae no class.. can concentrate on work. go home still must start doing readings for evo *Sigh*
- posted by espieee36 @ Tuesday, August 12, 2003

 
its only first day of skool, and i feel tired. but yet fulfilling. i think i am weird. i kinda like being bz..

met up with cat, ruth and crystal last nite. think everyone's basically the same; im glad ruth and cat din like take up drugs in uk tho it is so rampant and tempting. altho i tink ruth has caught an accent. then again, she has been there for like 3.5 yrs now.. not surprising even if she catches one eh? oh well, but i cudnt help feeling mildly. altho we were all scholars, but these overseas scholars are tokking bout starting pays, earning to buy cars and houses next time. yet, i noe all these r not impt in God's eyes. i guess if He blesses me with these things, so be it.. if not.. i shud just leave it in His hands :) but one good thing from the nite is that im reminded to be focused.. and i think i shud aim to work at GIC. after all, they want economists and if i grad w first class, i might get in. at least make up for all the time i wasted in sec skool and jc.. hmmz

and todae.. help.. went for micro.. it was SUPER BORING.. help. what is wrong w the econs dept.. they realli lack exciting lecturers. this guy is even worse than lbt.. sigh. evo was good.. cept for the fact that a is in class. but i have made up my mind to be happy, and yah, forget these unahppy things. i want to look back at my uni daes happily :) then yah, rushed to work.. rushed to obedience class. this 2 weeks going to be hell, with skool, work with prof kong, and ICAS. sigh

kae think i shud tok to bh for a while and sleeps.. tmr working dae.. sigh


- posted by espieee36 @ Monday, August 11, 2003