okae... time to write blog.. i think i have a lot of things running thru my mind..

first things first, thank God for pulling me thru the sick daes. im SO glad to be feeling normal. i feel less irritable for one. todae was generally nice dae. im learning many things.. like how if yu are self conscious, it actualli draws attn to your flaws. and i shudnt be so afraid to tok. and im actualli confident.. or other pple fink i am? it is strange that to other pple, i seem to have SO much crudentials.. its like even one yr in nus, and i managed to chalk up all the grades and CCa. but these things so dun count. pple think i shud feel good cos i seem to excel. but im beginning to think the more one has, the more one is afraid to lose. its a pride thing.. help.. God..

aniwaez, but at least things r going well. i got letter from dean and one recommendation, juz waiting for prof kang's letter. hes realli nice and sincere altho when i first took natures law i tot he looked rather geeky. but it doesnt matter.. he is realli smart and nice. realli looking forward to see how his little gal looks tmr :) yesh, and altho i think ys can be rather fierce and superficial, she never fails to make me feel nice. altho sometimes i think she is onli nice to me cos she thinsk im of use to her next time? hmmz

and when i saw the thai students and their ENTHUSIASM to attend usp lessons, im again reminded that i take so many things for granted in singapore. my education for one.. its like oh, nus.. no big deal.. usp, okae.. mebbe nice, but im not so enthusiastic for these pple who have to struggle in thailand. and like my parents, they are realli SO nice to me, and alwaes making sacrifices for me. sometimes i feel so eediot for taking them for granted.

aniwaez so many admin things to do.. again. photostat flyers for aunt linda to put in goodie bag for DND, borrow books for dad, pick up my recommendation letters, give jh and rena their stuff, then go for class... then rush to concorde.. then next morning rush to AH. sigh.. but iam happi not to be depressed.. that is nice :)
- posted by espieee36 @ Friday, August 22, 2003

 
basically last 2 daes was very bad dae. i dunno if i am just short fuse cos i am PMS-ing, or cos im trying to get close to God again and its some spiritual thing hmmz.

anyhow, yah, yesterdae went to skool.. and found out at like 10 that i am supposed to report to work at 12 and not too. good thing kenneth called me to ask wot time he is supposed to be there or else i wun EVEN noe..wot a screwed up admin. and i dun even think its all yaomiens fault.. but lynn. aiyoh, make me and yao mien look so bad in front of all the people we employed

but thank God i had cheryl to be with the whole time yesterdae. the 2 panels were okae.. but several VERY BORING presenters who just read off their papers, with a thick accent. yeah the first one on borders, i tot was quite enlightening. these academics sae cannot call them refugees, but i dunno wot else to call them. its liek they are all trying to escape past the borders from burma to thailand cos the armee is like after their lives. and even lives in refugee camps/temporary shelters in thailand have much better living conditions. altho its so hackneyed, but i realli feel that im so pampered here in singapore. its like i dun have to worry about the next meal.. and i still get angree over meaningless stoopid things and i am so self centred.. hmmz

also glad to meet up with adeline at dinner at funan. actualli wanted to buy pocket pc.. luv the HP 2210..but oh well.. oh and last nite, one fone call realli made my da"Y! fariz called to let me know both me and bohao are in to go to INDIA!! :) i noe people who just listen to india.. then like.. eee.. but i think it is realli COOL! i mean, how many pple are willing to go india to travel? and i get to see taj mahal!!! and the pink city etc.. just so cool. but i hope i dun get scared. i realli noe its God allowing us to go.. cos our chances of going together were so small. cos i wun be ard after trip to give back to Global Programme and bohao not from usp.. and i am glad nonetheless.. thank God :)

and yesh, todae got awoken to go to skool to unload the sponsor stuff, get my transcript, ask about the letter of support etc.. bz bz.. now just slacking and hoping to catch up on evo.. whee.. liyi is rushing her essay todae.. my turn will come soon.. uh oh..
- posted by espieee36 @ Wednesday, August 20, 2003

 
todae is a screwed up dae.. but somehow i din feel so lousy.. i guess cos God is getting nearer again and thank God bh drove down to help jump start the car..and that the last packet of jumper cables were available..

morning: quarrel with mum
afternoon: blur at evol class
evening: fluff flunk her mock evaluation
night: car broke down

ultimate.. but not as bad as jh's bad dae when she went past the ERP gantry 3 times without cash card.. hahz

todae i met sheela. not for the first time, but the first time i know she is sheela sorta thing. yah she is realli pretty and she reminds me of squish. but somehow her being pretty makes me feel uncomfortable. prolly my poor self image acting up again *sigH* i am just praying it wudn't stop me from making good frenz with her, and enjoying myself in canada. *praysss.. pls help me accept myself betteR*
- posted by espieee36 @ Tuesday, August 19, 2003