im starting to fully realize the idea of stress. feel almost like im going mad.. having so many little things to take care of. dis admin thing.. meeting this or that person.. aRghs. i am feeling a myriad of feelings all at once.. like stress, happy, lonely, restless, busy, tired, active... i dunno wot is wrong with me.. and my feelings r all hay wire.. helps..

yet these few daes im exceptionally close to God, the moment there is trouble i pray.. i pray when i need His peace... perhaps we realli draw close to God in dark ages.

im starting to feel torn apart by all the pple i love.. i feel compelled to meet up with everyone who is only back here for a while.. so much so that im starting to feel i have no time for myself. its not that i dun enjoy the time with them.. perhaps i just have too much on my mind. i miss the hols... when i can just fall asleep without thinking..

i decided to withdraw from camp comm.. mainly cos i wun be there cos of india..

life is so transcient i dunno why im taking it so hard.. kelvin..en huai.. yunsian.. all recent memories of how fragile my life is. how i cud be gone the next moment.. but yet i cant let go. ARGHS!

i think dis entry not going to make sense to most pple.. but nm..

helpppppppp

but im glad i had the conversation with jo, when she reminded me to think of things that are pure, noble etc.. phillipians 4:8. *thanx* at least i feel more confident im not stepping into depression.

random pple been coming to my mind.. chienhan.. andrew..kim liang.. adeline.. i wunder why.. there is no link.. there is no reason.. i feel rather deranged.. lalalz
- posted by espieee36 @ Thursday, August 28, 2003

 
oh everyday passes by so quickly.. and jo is going back tonite.. or rather earli tmr morning oredi.. juz finished tokkign to her on the fone and managed to tell her something i have wanted to sae to her for months.. or izzit years now.. hahaz. oh wellz, but yah she is starting to sound like a preacher, which is not a bad thing, but i guess it wun go down most pple's throats if they arent closed to her. mebbe im juz used to saeing things in a non provocative way? *lauGhs(

cant realli recall wot i have been doing.. but yah, todae had first project india meeting..and i actualli feal scared about going to india. like being swarmed by people the moment i step out of airport. but i guess being able to see taj mahal, live in a desert and being with bohao doing all that is worth the effort. but i am going to dress very poorly.. and not bring my cam.. hhaz..

basically other than that, being bz with skool work, admin stuff for exchange, catching up. met up with cheryl, sharon, jo and adeline and im juz so happi to see everyone together.. pity diana cudnt make it. and like sharon has been gone for FOUR yrs.. its so scarie. i still remember meeting up with her at bugis for the last time b4 she left. so much has changed then but i am glad all our frenships are still intact :)

now going deciding to continue with CG in VCF.. i fink the idea to do BS with grace is super cool hehez..

k k shall go train fluff.. byE!

- posted by espieee36 @ Wednesday, August 27, 2003

 
before i forget dnd emotions.. i shud note it down

dnd was yesterdae... mad rush in the afternoon to get all the lucky draw prizes etc. got down to the hotel feeling like a dishevelled mad woman.. but im glad many people commented my white holey top and make up made me look nice :) yah anyhow i generally had a good time hanging out.. tokking to pple.. take fotos.. taking fotos for pple like kim. but it realli was a great family thing. huiyings singing was great.. i loved swinging breadsticks.. and im glad to be able to encourage her in some form after we been friends for so long.. many gals looked so good, like huiying, sarah, emily, simin and lotus.. i tot they looked the best. :) and im so proud of altair that after one yr, we had 11 pple from OG going down.. whee

and im so proud of our mc, not just our achievements, but how we r so close to one another and supportive and sporting. anywaez we headed down to zouk to hang out after that.. jamie, james, jackie, ben, yuwen, py, lotus and myself.. den met bk, nadine and shuping there. the 2 gals were like high and gone oredi. initially phuture was too crowded so we went to zouk.. but the music sucked we moved back to phuture. first time i felt so happi dancing i danced for like 3 hrs non stop. but i liked it so much i was scared.. scared of following a clubbing lifestyle and wasting my life away. and im sad to see bk so sad.. sighhh but i was happi. happi i have pple to be comfortable around with :)

i slept around 5 and woke up at 730 when mum called to go to AH. twas tiring and was surprising to meet emmeline there. got to noe sharon. and made a commitment to be healthier and exercise more. hmmz

oh and apparently, yunsian suffering from skin cancer and en huai passed away. life is so transcient..
- posted by espieee36 @ Sunday, August 24, 2003