-rattlings-
Thursday, September 04, 2003
oh yesh and before i forget.. lemme announce something i am so proud of doing..
i have deleted all the mp3s i dled!! :) i only keep those i rip from my own CDs. just a small lil step to being more honest w God :)
Wednesday, September 03, 2003
todae definitely calls for a long reflectivve entry
i just read n's blog entries. she is someone i noe, misunderstood for a while, and dunno too well. but she entrusted her blog address to me nonetheless. i felt the HS prompting me the other dae to ask her about f.. so i did.. and true enuff, they have broken up. and well she told me its a long story and told me to read her blog. i din gather much cept that she fell in love with another guy while she was in france.. but that is not the pt. the pt is that i realize there is just a deep person within her. she seems quiet, terribly soft spoken and simple.. but deep within, there is so much struggles.. torn.. thoughts, ideals and aspirations.. experiences. i think i am just too caught up in trying to get my CAP.. that i let go many interesting people go past me. i wish God could give me more opportunities to noe these people deeply.. i wish i cud bring her back to God. realli wish i can..
then i spoke to grace over lunch todae. she basically wanted me and xl to remain in the fellowship so we can have rapport if we serve in our senior undergrad yrs.. but well, stuck to BS in the end. while grace is someone struggling with similar issues of pride.. im just so encouraged to see her faith.. see her living out the Word.. and well, i wunder if by the time i grad with honours, i will have correct priorities like her. *ponderS* but she did bring up something that disturbed me. she mentioned bout how wives have to submit to husbands in future.. and asked me about bh. well, actualli i am not comfortable with the fact that.. urm wait, i cant judge a person's spiritual level.. but well, just that he hasn't realli been a good example. haha i have to scold him bout his priorities and how he shudnt rip off mp3s etc. so its like.. i dunno. i guess i just have to pray that we will both walk in the light, and i will trust and be comfortable about 'submitting' to him in future.
went over to liyi's place todae to give her mooncake. i realli feel i am very unsuccessful in making pple feel impt to me cos im too bz. at least for this period. okae.. this is weird, im saeing this noeing ly will read it.. but yah. its like, urm, she is really quite impt to me. she is like my only best fren in singapore, next to bohao now that jo is overseas. its like whenever i have a problem, or wanna cry, or am depressed, i thinking of calling her. and i usually do.. and i been to her house so often, i noe where to find moisturizer, where her books are etc.. but uRm, somehow she gives me the feeling that she doesnt think she is impt to me. like she once told me that she feels like just 'one of my friends'.. which is so untrue. i mean.. 'one of my friends' in uni means perhaps i onli see them once a week, and all we talk about is like curricular related. yah, and well, i actualli do envy her that she is so tight knit with her good friends because she concentrates on a few of them.. like yl, lc and qixin. somehow i onli have one such good fren in sing and that is her. mebbe i have been spending too much time with bh? i dunno. problems of an extrovert.. too many superficial frenships r draining me..
and yah to that pt, i dun even noe if i am an extrovery anymore. nowadaes i can be drained by social activities. if it was me a few yrs ago, i wud jump at the idea of amazing race in church.. but now i dun even feel like going. sign of maturitY? or just laziness.. sigh
grace spoke about priorities. basically priority shud be ministry, and remaining time use to study, and see wot God does with that 'remaining' time. basically giving ur best time to God. i so have a big problem with that.
and i hate evolution class in a way, it makes me uncomfortable. it is like forcing me to believe in something that contradicts my whole faith. aniwae here is an email i wrote.. and the italics is wot chung king said in response to my questions..
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hey okae.. been thinking about these evolution issues.. and not like im doubting my faith, but i also dun want to like blindly ignore these 'convincing' facts that support evolution (or so my lecturer claims hah).. so here are some questions.
1) Embryogenesis
The embryogenesis of morphologically different species (such as fish, pig, humans) is surprisingly similar and often apparently unnecessarily complicated. for example, why do human embryos develop tail? why do babies have a toe reflex? (my lecturer claims this is because monkeys need their feet to grab trees.. and hence, humans now have this reflex to grab things on their feet)
Points towards the fact that there is the One maker.
Complicated, yes, who are we to say that it is unnecessarily? We simply do not know enough.
People that claims that they can do a better job in creating a human is just plain arrogant.
I suppose cannot question how God creates humans and animals because we will never fully understand, but yah, why is our basic form similar to that of animals? why do we have so many redundant parts as an embryo that disappears as we develop into full grown baby?
2) Fossils
If God created everything at one go, why do we find like 'transitional fossils?'
Can't find this video that my lecturer played, but it is from National Geographic, where they talk about whales evolving from terrestial mammals. And yah, apparently they have enough archaeological proof that whales used to have legs which has evolved into flippers.. and nostrils migrated upwards.
are these archaeological facts false? if not, then if some hairy mammal can evolve into a whale as we see it.. then why shouldn't we believe in evolution?
The whole problem for the evolutionist is that there is not enough transitional fossils. So much so that any discovery that claims to be transitional fossil will get a lot of attention.
Fact is, even if there is, I can still say that God has created animals complicated enough to adapt to environment. Transitional fossils add nothing to the evolutionist claim.
Tuesday, September 02, 2003
heyaz.. okae.. wot an interesting dae. todae is teachers dae.. so i emailed my uni profs, and called up uncle jimmy, mdm ong, mrs tan and remedios..
it is funny how the arbitruary relationship of a teacher-student changes once the student moves on to the next level. its like i tokked to remedios for close to an hour almost like a friend. he was telling me how he thinks lixuan and i are attractive cos of our smiles? haha.. and how he is working on getting gf.. i think its cool.. he will be a nice fren to have :)
it is realli nice how teachers from all walks of my lives r still in touch with me. its nice.. oh no.. liyi.. me getting sentimental too :)
Monday, September 01, 2003
hey!! kewl.. fluffie took her obedience class todae and she came in 3rd in claSs!! :) woohoo... realli din expect it so i thank God.. she got 92.5/100.. hehe so surprising... considering she was so lousy just 2 weeks ago :) my parents seem happi too.. like their grandchild got a prize or something.. laugHs..
it is a pity i dun have time to train her for intermediate.. otherwise she might be a champion dog too.. hmmz
oh wellz.. thank God for everything.. im happi todae :) thanks to all the people who showed concern that i was upset. i think im just in a mood swing mood.. and trying to keep close to God..
its time to get down to studying.. scarie, 4th week oredi.. and mid terms start 6th week.. sigh
Sunday, August 31, 2003
i think what liyi said about lives going thru ups and downs is true.. oh well.. after clearly most of my work and readings todae, i feel bit betta.. thank God i learn things fast.
todaes svc was.. i dunno.. moving.. partly cos i wasnt feeling too well emotionally, and i wasnt tokking to the person sitting next to me.. but yah, i think we all need such jolting msgs about our faith sometimes. i think i shud like shine for God more and not hide it.. like kelv saes.. msut have personal conviction bout our faith. i wish i had LOTSA instead of the little one i have. hmmz
tmr is fluffie's final class and her test... i hope she passes it :)
just left with DM readings and tutorial.. yAwns..
well i just quarrelled with bohao over *big island*
so stoopid. it feels the same except i really feel like giving up this time. sigh
